In an effort to reinvent myself as a more romantic person, I have been doing tons of romance research (sounds romantic, eh?). However, most of advice I find only confirms my previous biases about romance: it's sappy, sentimental, disgusting, dangerous, or just plain stupid.
Let me prove my point (real advice I found online or in books):
- Keep twenty pounds of your lovers favorite candy on hand. (Um, yuck...)
- Take her to see the movie Titanic fifteen times. (Also, yuck...)
- Give him/her twelve dozen roses on all their special days. (Ridiculously expensive and a bit cliche, no?)
- Go through revolving doors with your lover. (What???)
- Call him at work and say: "Hello handsome! Are you free tonight?" (Really? This is a joke, right...)
- Get tulips and attach this note: "I've got two-lips waiting for you!" (Needs no comment)
- Write him/her a check for one million kisses. (Does anyone else want to die right now?)
- Trace "I love you" on a stick of butter or margarine. (Why???)
- Have pillows embroidered with your names, and get monogramed pillow covers. (Maybe in sixty years...)
- Mail a lock of your hair to your lover. (Should probably be illegal. Way to Fatal Attraction for my taste.)
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