Worst Romantic Ideas Ever

So, where to begin my quest to becoming more romantic? Obvious. Google it.

Google holds the answer to so many of life's most important questions. How many ounces are in a cup? How can I remove the black mold that persistently peeks out from behind the molding in my shower? What should I name my cat (seriously, there are entire websites devoted to naming your pet).

So, when I wanted to discover ways to introduce romance into my relationship (my knowledge of such things being strictly relegated to made for TV movies) I googled it. Shamelessly nerdy, yes, but that is how helpless I am when it comes to this sort of thing.

Top Five Worst Romantic Ideas I Found Online:

1. Surprise her by handing her the remote. (I love how this one assumes all men are chauvinistic pigs who hog the television. I also love how sharing is somehow considered romantic, as if appropriate behavior is a marvel in the modern man).

2. Keep your relationship full of surprises. (Found under the heading: Romantic Surprise Ideas. Yes, and...)

3. Make love to him/her every night until he/she asks you to stop. (I'm very creeped out right now...)

4. Buy a bunch of fish at a pet store. It doesn't matter what kind. Leave it for your lover with a note saying " Out of all the fish in the sea, you are the one for me". (Not a lot of long-term planning going on here. Basically, you've just bought your lover a bunch of fish that they now have to care for.)

5. Play "hide-and-seek" in the rain. It's fun and VERY sensual! (I like that this one had to be amended with the "It's very sensual" comment at the end, because I think most of us are thinking wet+alone+hiding-in-the-freezing-rain = not so much romance.)